The Gallery: Nature

Well this Gallery theme has me stumped this week because I'm not a nature person. I like firm ground under my feet suitable for heels and a gorgeous delicatessen or wine bar on every corner.

The countryside is lovely for driving through, I can understand why people say it's pretty. But I visited once and that wasn't so pretty. Everything was a bit muddy and untidy. My heels sank into the ground and I got mud on my Armani swing coat. I was not a happy bunny. And the countryside gets smelly too doesn't it? All those cows and pigs and things.

I suppose you can find nature in your park and garden. I do like colourful flowers, they're good. But they attract bees and wasps and all sorts of buzzy things which I'm not so keen on. And I must have sweet blood because I get bitten by everything darlings.

Put simply, I'm not a nature fan. But I will make the best effort with the Gallery this week because there is a prize of Green & Black's chocolate. If I win I shall squirrel it away under my mattress where my personal trainer can't find it.

So I present to you my nature picture: flowers.

And these are the most perfect flowers. Pourquoi? Well they don't attract buzzy things and they don't need watering and they look beautiful forever. Yes darlings, they're fake!