Monday, 9 August 2010

I have to wear sensible shoes and it's the dog's fault

Well my lovelies I don't think I got round to explaining what happened to my dog while I was in New York. He went walkabout and no one seemed to notice he was missing for the first couple of days. Rock Star and Jagger made some half-hearted attempts to find him but it was down to me, when I was jetlagged, to finally track him down.

My dog is called Dolce and he's a labradoodle, I may have mentioned this before. He's gorgeous and cuddly and very stupid. Just like Rock Star really. I go for a certain type darlings. To cut an extremely long boring story short, I found Dolce living at the house of a former soap actor in a neighbouring street. The former soap actor seemed to be under the impression Jagger had loaned Dolce to him. I don't understand why. Anyway this former soap actor has been acting quite strangely ever since he was (prematurely in his view) written out of his soap. And because his character died there's no prospect of returning. Pesonally I think he's having a bit of a breakdown about it. But there was still no need to nick our dog.

It's quite clear Dolce doesn't consider me to be the one in charge. He doesn't think anyone's in charge and this is part of his problem according to my Dog Psychotherapist. She's suggested I start walking him myself instead of employing a dog walker. I really don't have the time, but I guess I'll do it if Dolce then realises I'm his pack leader.

But taking a dog for a walk means going for a proper walk. I don't have any shoes I can schlep around Primrose Hill in. So I've had to borrow the nanny's troggy Ugg boots. They're two sizes too big and I've had to disguise myself while wearing them because if any paps get a picture of me wearing them the papers would have a field day.

And I didn't realise stupid Ugg boots aren't waterproof. So I marched through a few puddles after we'd had those storms the other day and now they're ruined. The nanny was in tears. I gave her twenty quid to buy some new ones and she cried even more. Do you know why? The frigging ugly things cost 160 quid that's why! 160 quid!

Don't worry darlings, I've given her 160 quid. So hopefully she'll be happy again. But my sensible shoe problem remains unsolved. A friend has suggested Birkenstocks. I made a sign of the cross and ran away. I couldn't do it to myself, just couldn't do it sweetie.

Photo credit


  1. Hahaha! Oh dear! If only Jimmy Choo designed some dog walking shoes! You could always go for the hunter wellies and summer dress look, no?!


  2. Jimmy Choo dog walking shoes would be a perfect invention! I don't think I've worn wellies since I was eight, that needs some thought. It's very much a festival look isn't it? Kate Moss at Glastonbury and all that. I'm coming round to the idea...

  3. Noooooo not Birkenstocks!! They remind me of sensible Scholl sandals and always make the wearer look flat and broad footed.

    You need some Uggs with heels. Ask Dannii Minogue - she's just found some and tweeted a picture the other day.

  4. My first thought of Uggs with heels was *horror* but then when I read Dannii is tweeting about them my perception changed. She is a style heroine after all (well, post 2006 anyway. Let's not delve into the 80s pics of Dannii).

  5. Shamefully I must confess I could not do without my chocolate brown UGG's. They make my feet so happy.

  6. Sounds like there is a definite gap in the market for designer 'dog walking' shoes. Someone needs to fill this gap, if you have to walk the dog, you must have the shoes. Either that, or you need to go down the wellies route, ala Kate Moss, Glasonbury? Or waterproof(?) Uggs with heels maybe?

  7. Oh Alethea, I despair. My feet are never happier than when they're in Louboutins. I'm very intrigued about these heeled Uggs Brighton Mum, I just can't picture them!


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